Monday, 10 February 2014

The Lies About Not Telling


 In “Keeping Your Mouth Shut” I talked about a few of the reasons for simply not mentioning ones past medical issues. Basically that means I refuse to let that accident of nature define my whole future and get in the way of what I want and need from my life. The world is full of well-intentioned people who talk about accepting the cards that are dealt and live with them. If that was a fair argument you might as well say female brain male body live with that no surgery for life. Instead these pedlars of nonsense advocate half measures and talk of lifetime transitions and it is all so much total nonsense. It doesn’t have to be that way.

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin! Let us start with this term “stealth” this is a transgender word introduced into the vocabulary to imply a sinister action or activity of some kind. The sole purpose of choosing the word is to discourage people from not disclosing their transsexual history. A cat is “stealthy” when it creeps up on a mouse or bird and then suddenly springs forth and kills the poor piece of lunch! By using the term Stealth” it surely implies that at some point you are intending to spring forth and shock a lover with your potentially devastating news. An aeroplane designed to avoid detection by radar is “stealthy”. The word carries with it an air of malevolence.  It is simply a part of the TG strategy to make classic transsexual women and men appear somehow deceitful or even disloyal for wanting nothing more than to leave transsexual on the surgeon’s operating table where it surely belongs. The whole word is wrong wrong wrong.!! It is oppressive, Girls and guys, get it out of your vocabulary and your minds now. It is step one in clearing your life and mind of this invidious insinuation that you live a lie if you simply “Keep Your Mouth Shut” So let us examine “lies” for a moment.

We get told “You have to be honest” Pardon me if I get a little hot under the collar here won’t you. Honest about what? Telling me to be honest is making the assumption that there is some lie. What lie? Let’s straighten this one out once and for all. I am woman, there is no suffix or prefix, there is no “woman born transsexual” there was no sex change. There was a medical condition that could be corrected; I corrected that issue. That done you move on with your life as anyone cured of a life threatening condition would.

So let’s now examine “Lie” You can lie in two ways. One is a lie of commission where something you know to be untrue or inaccurate is conveyed to someone else. There is also lie of omission where you simply don’t tell something they are entitled to know .e.g If you have some fish caught that morning you want to sell, you might put up a sign saying “Fresh Fish For Sale. The following day you may change the sign to read “ Fish For Sale” for the third day you’d probably leave the sign as it is even if the fish was smelling a bit, that is a lie of omission. You certainly would not put up a sign saying “Stinking Fish for Sale”

Classic Transsexuals are aware as I was, that they are female from my first moment of self-awareness, all transsexuals are. I was aware there was something not right. And I realised pretty soon I had something that I shouldn’t have. In some people this realisation may be delayed. So when I say to someone I am a female I say it from the point of view that I knew I was female from my earliest moment of awareness. No different to any other female. There is no lie there from either omission or commission. Whether I choose to share the trauma experienced while growing is a personal and private matter of choice. No one alive has any right to insist I relive that trauma every day of my life. Why should I have to satisfy some idiot’s idle or morbid curiosity? No-one alive or dead has the right to inflict such torture.

When I meet new people, and I meet literally lots of people every day, I do so as the person I am. I am a woman, I appear female, feminine attractive I have been called beautiful. I sound feminine female, I move in the same way. The first part of recognition we humans do when we meet one another is decide which sex we are encountering. I guarantee that in that first instant I will register female. At what point am I supposed to say “I’m not really a woman I’m really a man and I wouldn’t want you to feel deceived.” Before you say “Good morning or after? Not then? Oh? Well then, not right away? Ok when then? The second meeting third, fourth? When is the right time? When you are getting really friendly? What about a relationship or a lover? Before sex or after?   Let me tell you I have tried each and every scenario and there is no right way. There is no right moment. But why tell at all. Why do you have to say anything? Honesty? Nope, please see previous paragraph.

Yet the transgender doctrine insists that by not telling you are “stealth” There is no stealth remember, we are women not transwomen, not women born transsexual, not HBS women, or even women with a surgical history, we are none of those things nor are we any variation of those things, we are simply women. Who we choose as partners is as varied among us as it is among all women and it has no bearing on our beginnings in any way shape or form.

The next issue in this apparent conspiracy to deny us our birthright is the argument that we should make ourselves visible in order that younger ones starting out may have a role model, someone to look up too and to illustrate that the transition can be successful. The weapon used here is one of guilt. Oh my, the invidious guilt trip. How this one tugs at the heart-strings. For all of us know that sense of isolation when we realise that inside our heads we are fine it’s our body that is wrong and we instinctively feel we are the only one. Our television screens display drag queens, transvestites, Lesbian and gay and somehow we know that what we see there is not what we feel. We get on the internet and we discover transgender its close so we fall in lock step and for a time it’s not too bad. We do begin to realise though, that what surrounds us in the world of blogs and support forums is not really quite what we feel because deep within is a disquiet that it still isn’t quite us.

We’ve heard all the theories and may even have repeated them and written replies on blogs and parroted the script but that thought nags at you. This really isn’t me I really just want to be a woman and live quietly somewhere, find a partner and share our lives. Oh no, you can’t do that those young ones need someone to look up to. So the circle continues. Yet there all around us is fifty percent of the population, other women. Isn’t that where the real role models are? No say the transgenderists! We are your role models and you must be a role model too. Well I will reveal the truth to you. Girls you’ve been sold a pup! Your Mother was a role model, your sister your aunt, your school friend. What is even better, they are not putting on any act, they are real.

Now think about this; let’s pretend you have “kept your mouth shut” or to put it another way just not put up that “stinking fish” sign we talked about earlier. That woman at work in the office who you chat with at lunch time, share a coffee with at break time, What if one day she says to you, “I had sex change surgery five years ago I used to be a guy” In those few seconds of shock, all that feminine mystique built up over the time you have known her vanishes in less than a second. You tell yourself she’s like me wow how wonderful. If you don’t suddenly in that instant see the man, you’re lying.  The pity is that once that information is out it’s like the airbag in your car, it cannot be put back and the cost of replacement is expensive. People cannot keep information like that too themselves. If they don’t think “everyone has a right to know” then the sheer notoriety of the news or information will be too much for them to keep to themselves. It’s a “juicy piece of gossip” they simply must share. Women will share simply because of the newsworthy factor. Men will make sure their mates don’t get tricked by you. “That girl in accounts, watch out it’s really a guy” You can just hear it can’t you.

The essence of this all boils down to one simple factor; we know that we are women because we knew from that first instant of self-awareness that is what we are. Transgender on the other hand have accepted at some point in their life that they are male. That fact never leaves their psyche. Transsexuals know and have always known, we are women and have always been women.



Author / Source: Evangelina Carters at Cassandra Speaks


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No Suture! Art, Music, Gender & Random Topic Snippet-logs, Since 2005 …

No Suture!                         Art, Music, Gender & Random Topic Snippet-logs, Since 2005 …