Friday, 17 January 2014

The Unabridged Women’s Dicktionary of Male Dating Terms:

Below is a list of phrases commonly used by men while dating women & their translations:

“baby i wanna make love to you all night”
translation: “it’s gonna be 20 minutes & we’ll pretend it was hours”

“baby i know i fucked up, I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you.”
translation: “i don’t have anywhere else to wet my dick tonight”

“I can’t stop thinking about you” 
this phrase is generally used BEFORE he hits it & translates to:
“i can’t wait to own you so i can keep you waiting”

“I’d like to take you out sometime,” 
translation: “don’t hold your breath”

“I have this unique fantasy…” 
translation: “I think i’m the only man on earth kinky enough to want to bang 2 bitches at once”

“I’m not like other men,” 
translation: “my ego is way bigger than my dick. DON’T mess with it! Seriously.”

“I’ll call you” 
translation: “I have a few on my list that i want to hit first but i may want to wet my dick here at least once / again, so i’ll keep your phone number”

“I’ll call you soon/later/tonight/tomorrow/after work, etc.” translation:
“sit & wait for that”

“I lost my phone/broke/sick/accident/spent a night in jail or… /fill in the blank with any other excuse/”
translation: “i was busy banging my new/ex gf for a few days” in some cases it may mean “i was busy abusing my substance of choice and/or banging a new/ex gf for a few days”

“I love you,” this is a phrase used only in desperation when there is no other way to get the pussy & basically means:
“I’ll say whatever it takes to hit that pussy right now”

“I’ve never met a woman like you before”  
translation: “What? You mean you have hair down there???”

“It’s not that I don’t love you, but i  just can’t leave her yet,” 
translation: “she’s paying the rent & that’s her car I’m driving”

“It’s not that I don’t love you, but i  just can’t leave her yet,” 
can also mean: “you won’t put up with the shit she’s putting up with”

“I had to leave town unexpectedly & my phone died, then it fell out of the airplane & landed in a pot of wonton soup, then my dog ate it and my grandmother dies, and basically, this all happened in China”
translation: classic cuento chino

“Let’s hang out,” 
translation: “let’s fuck”

“Let’s hang out,”
can also mean in some cases “let’s do our drug of choice & fuck”
or in the worst case scenario: “let’s watch the game while we fuck”

“Not All Men Are Like That” or “NAMALT” for short. 
translation: “i don’t want to listen to anything that will make me question the way that I/my friends treat women”

“OMG, you’re so beautiful/gorgeous/pretty/briliant/amazing, etc”  
also often heard as “OMG you have such beautiful eyes/lips/smile/teeth/hair/whatever” normally this phrase is repeated throughout the date like a mantra. 
translation: “I want to fuck you & i have no interest whatsoever in making the slightest effort to have an intelligent conversation.”

“She ain’t hot/sweet/fine/sexy/whatever like you are” 
translation: “I’m tired of destroying her self-esteem, now I want to destroy yours”

“She’s not my wife,” 
translation:  “it’s not on paper but we live together, she pays the bills & we have 3 kids, plus she’s pregnant so i want to fuck YOU instead”

“The women of my ethnic group are not as cool as you are,” 
translation: “i feel totally entitled to judge, degrade & bash women of my own ethnicity, but will be on best-behavior for exotic foreigners”

“There’s nothing between me & her” 
translation: “she cooks for me, i fuck her occasionally & send a text once in a while to keep her on standby”

“This dick is yours baby, come get it anytime,” 
translation: “go ahead & call but i won’t answer & ofc you don’t know where i live”

“You my special girl” 
translation: “you’re the one I’m lying to most often.  in fact: you might even be the one i want to have a baby with, so you can cook, serve & clean for me & i can control you at home”

“Wow! I’m really sorry men have treated you that way,” 
translation: “I”m sorry you’re not opening your legs as quickly as i expected”

Author / Source: Dinorah de Jesús Rodriguez at mujer_cita_MIA: Artivism in the Ladies’ Room